Sunday, 14 June 2009


I'm not very good at being patient. I may take a long time to research things and come to decisions, but once I have decided something, I want to do NOW and I want to do it PERFECTLY. Obviously, this is entirely doomed to failure and then I get very discouraged. There are so many things right now that I want to just get doing and get finished - the allotment, finding a permanent home for our local Hme Ed group, sorting out our work/family situation, trying to get my book published - not to mention all the other ongoing stuff such as meal planning and cooking, gardening, being with the children, working...
Once again, everything takes over my brain and I can't see the wood for the trees, but I'm learning. Being on the allotment, by myself, in nice weather is helping me to slow down, to re-connect and to find a peaceful centre in myself. At first when I arrived there today I though 'oh no! All the weeds again! And I'm just not getting anywhere!' But after a few hours of rushing round like a headless chicken trying to do *all* the jobs that needed doing, all at once, I began to calm down and feel that earth energy. A bit of weeding revealed that the beetroot and leeks I had thought had not germinated were actually growing after all. The potatoes are doing fantastically. The shed is now secure and helpful. I planted out my butternut squash plants, and managed to do a fair amount of tidying. But the best thing today was seeing a nearby plot-holder and finding out about the site email contact list. One of the things we moved to this town for, almost 2 years ago now, was to put down roots and become part of the local community. When this didn't happen immediately, I lost hope and felt cross, isolated and alienated. But today, I have finally realised that it is happening, albeit slowly and gradually. I am part of the local Home Ed community, I am part of the local allotment coomunity. I am making friends through the local La Leche League. I am starting to feel at home here. It isn't happening overnight, as I'd wanted, but thre fact that it is happening has taught me something about things taking their own time, about gradual change and about my own impatience.

1 comment:

bethnoir said...

it sounds as if you know your (minor and understandable) weaknesses and are addressing them. The vegetables in the allotment sound great, I love the way things grow so fast you can almost watch them at this time of year.

Hooray for community and roots!