I feel like my head is in a very weird place right now. We've had a lot of challenges recently - my daughter is needing a lot from me, some of which neither she nor I can quite identify - and I'm finding that very draining and very difficult.
I've also been getting involved in my town's fledgling Transition Initiative and I've been finding that challenging too, on several different levels. I find it hard meeting strangers and going amongst people a lot. I also find the ideas underpinning Transition to be very scary - peak oil and climate change are presenting a huge challenge to us all right now - and now I know more about it all, I'm finding it even scarier. Transition Initiatives are all about finding a positive response to these challenges and making a better future as a result of them, but I can't help also finding the solutions a bit challenging as they involve a lot more dependence on neighbours and community, a lot more shared stuff and working together, which though I'm attracted to, I also find difficult. I'm also finding the process difficult - I can see what needs organising with our group, but I'm reluctant to take charge and organise stuff because I already feel over-extended with everything else I'm doing and really don't think I can cope with anything more right now. And yet I'm torn as this is so imortant. (When I finish reading The Transition handbook, I'll post up a more detailed discussion of its ideas)
I'm also finding our Home Ed group more work than I anticipated, in that now that it's set up I'm still organising lots of the sessions, finding new stuff for us, liaising with the local museum, checking out local scrapstores, hoping our bank account application will go through smoothly now after an intial hiccup, and lots of other stuff. Which is fine, it's still very new and other people will join in more as it all beds down, but it's just bad timing s far as the rest of my comitments go.
Not to mention my own studying, the shopping, baking, cooking, allotment etc... I need more hours in the day and much more calmness in my brain.
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5 comments:
Just left an award for your blog on mine :)
Gina xx
Just sending you calming vibes. It's awful when you feel so overstretched, but everything seems important. I hope something happens soon which will allow you to take a breather.
Thanks for the vibes Claire, and thanks for the award Gina! I can never work out how to post these things on my blog, but I do really appreciate it!
I don't know how you do it. I hope calmer times are ahead! What is it about us women, we feel guilty unless our plates are piled too high for us to cope with.
It's not that I feel guilty if I'm not busy, it's that there are so many worthwhile, important, interesting and creative things to do, how to choose which ones to do first?
Well, off to Transition Drinks tonight, must do some studying tomorrow night, made some jam yesterday, Home Ed Group on Thursday...
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